In The Zone

When I'm particularly stressed, I get quiet. When really stressed, I'll find time by myself. If that's not an option, I retreat within myself, calm, breathe, quiet. I get very serious about learning new skills, especially when I realize my life will be in someone else's hands. I've been in situations like these before - rock climbing, pole jumping, ropes courses - but there's always been a harness hooked to a rope held by a person who I've trusted explicitly. The falling lasted mere seconds, if that long, and I've always trusted, completely.

I'd also like to point out that I've been dancing for fourteen years now. It took a little while, but I have a fairly high control of my body, my instincts usually lead me correctly in most situations. I've done things that I didn't think I was capable of in stressful situations or game situations. I was almost mugged on Friday, but stopped it by, well, simply stopping. I've done things in game that I didn't think were possible. Go Go Gadget Adrenaline.

The video that I bought was insightful. I was calm. Too calm. I smiled, but not nervously. I looked very Asian in the plane; smiling and calm and demure and peaceful. I think the real problem was that it didn't hit me until I was squatting in the door of the plane, looking down at pretty pretty landscape earth from a million miles away, that I was actually going to fall to the earth from very very far away. No harness clipped to a rope held by a dude. No quick catch. Just falling and falling and falling.

And falling and falling.

And falling.

Stuart, my partner, he trained me while we were on the ground, to squat, lace my thumbs in this one section of harness, keep my head back and we'd just tip over the edge, tumble a few times foot over head over foot over head. I was to stay in this position, thumbs laced, feet tucked, until he tapped me twice on my shoulders, then I'd push my pelvis forward, bend my knees and try to touch his butt with my heels AND take my thumbs out from the harness, put my arms up and above my head. You know, in that position that skydivers do. In all positions, the head is back. And, Stuart cautioned, never let my legs pike in front of me nor go into the fetal position. As I was taller and lighter than him, I had the control and could cause serious problems for us.

Let's return to the part where it hasn't hit me yet that I'm skydiving. Around the part where I'm squatting on the edge of the plane is when it hit me. And let's just say instincts didn't help. Or maybe they did. I've been going over what I was thinking right then over and over. Thank the gods I purchased a video because I don't think I'd remember specifics otherwise. Again, with apologies for sporadic storytelling, let me return to within the plane.

The plane took off and it's a modified plane, meant to hold a lot of people that are going to get out halfway through the flight, with a huge door at the back that slides open easily. There are two rows of benches that you straddle and when Carly, Jacque and I got into the plane, our instructors were seated directly behind us on the benches. My videographer was seated next to me. Pontus was seated next to the pilot in the cock pit. Oh, did I mention he paid to be an observer? Yesh. So he's in the plane as well. The difference is that he's facing forward with the pilot and we're all facing backwards, towards the door and we're smooshed in there such that there are around twenty something jumpers in the plane. Three of us tandems, two people who were, I think, jumper and instructor, but with their own 'chutes each, and around seventeen experienced jumpers who were going all at once to do circles and tricks and such, most of them having cameras strapped into their helmets.

Right as were beginning to crest the clouds, us tandem jumpers get pulled back against our instructors and very intimately locked into place via four hooks. Stuart does a dress rehearsal, specifically using that term because he knows I'm a dancer, and we go over the different positions. The experienced jumpers all do this funky version of high five, similar to how they hold hands when actually free falling, and I'm far enough that some jumpers reach back and include me. Then they do the breathing thing which is a kind of prayer, very calming. Everyone's helmets and goggles are on.

The door is opened.